Entertainment
by Grievous daydreamer
Summary: Living in a small village of many rules and few incidents,just-turned-genin Hidan is frustrated and needs to vent.Shinobi warfare kick-starts changes in Yuugakure and a stranger makes Hidan consider just how weak his village has become...Backstory,revised
1. Chapter 1

Set 10 years before Shippuuden, so Hidan is at the cheeky, know-it-all, yet still slightly innocent age of 12 (at the start anyway) and God knows what age Orochimaru is. O_o 40s-50s? (yeah…I kind of messed with the timeline, as in ch1 Orochi is still in Konoha) I wanted to write more Hidan and Oro fics, and to make it at least slightly different from Tensei; Orochimaru's motives are more or less harmless in this one. Ever since he started featuring in my fics, I've started to like him more…O-o Not that much more though. :3

Contains some random made-up villagers, whose sole purpose is to flesh out the bizarre plot.

Entertainment

That stranger was there again.

He stood there in the village leader's office with two other weirdoes, though to be honest, they looked normal compared to how creepy this guy was. He looked kind of snake-like; it was just plain freaky. Some of the senseis had been going on about those three foreigners, that they were special jounin, legendary shinobi from Konoha, here to have some over-rated talk about the treaty between the two villages, though why they bothered to ally with this shithole was anyone's guess.

The woman was deep in conversation with the leader, and the other man was looking over her shoulder, looking vaguely interested. But that man… He just wouldn't stop staring, just like yesterday. His yellow eyes glinted with a strange light, seen even from the considerable distance. What the hell was his problem? The local ninja academy wasn't the most thrilling thing in the world, seriously-

"Hidan-san, the class is _this_ way. Turn around please. And stay around this time."

With a last suspicious glance at the stranger, Hidan swivelled to face his sensei, looking bored. A student behind him sniggered, and he gave him a discreet kick, knowing the sensei's eyes were on him. The sniggering was cut off by a small grunt of pain.

The middle aged kunoichi gave Hidan one more look before turning to the class again.

"Remember, it's only a few weeks before your graduation exam, and that means no slacking off! We still have some theory to cover…"

As the sensei turned her back to write on the worn blackboard, Hidan glanced at the window again, noting that it wasn't locked. He smirked. They never learned, did they?

His fingers traced the edge until they found the latch, but at that moment, Ushiro-sensei turned. He jerked away from the window as she glanced suspiciously at him. He returned her look with a innocent smile of his own. A few hands were raised, and she took her eyes off him, but not enough to let him completely out of her sight.

In exasperation, Hidan stared out the window again. Those Konoha nin were still there. The creepy one was looking away, but he had a strange smirk on his face, and Hidan felt as if the shinobi was purposely avoiding his eye. He continued to stare, willing him to look round again.

"Hidan. Turn. Now."

He glanced at his sensei's irritated expression.

"Tch."

"Don't use that tone with me. You know you've got a test on this? If you keeping flunking theory, you'll have to repeat the year."

"I'll make it up in practical."

"Don't be stupid! Shinobi need to know this to properly execute the practicalities. Your physical skill alone won't be enough to-"

"Want me to prove it?"

"What?"

Hidan shoved open the window on his right. Ushiro-sensei merely crossed her arms, shaking her head. Sticking his tongue out at his classmates, Hidan deftly climbed out of his seat and onto the windowsill. He hung for a couple of seconds, while the students murmured, and his sensei started to protest angrily and move towards him. He let himself fall.

Hidan waved casually as he dropped, Ushiro-sensei's shouts joining the chorus of shocked students' cries. The tan coloured wall flew by, wind whistling past his ears as he hurtled down, drowning out the class's reaction. Knowing he would probably hit the ground soon, Hidan concentrated the chakra in his feet and landed somewhat clumsily on the grass below, his short, silver hair slightly askew, feet sore, but otherwise unharmed. His sensei was practically hanging out the third floor window, yelling at him. He flipped her off, and mouthed 'bitch,' corners of his mouth twitching as her face contorted with outrage. It was soon withdrawn from the window, leaving him to bask in his triumph as she ran down the stairs. He laughed at the image, and almost subconsciously, looked back at the leader's window. Was his audience enjoying the show?

The woman and the leader were still talking; the white haired man was backing up the woman, leaning in closer, all completely oblivious to his skill. But the other one was gone. Hidan frowned, but felt a strange sense of relief at the same time. Probably in the toilet, missing the whole thing. Sucker. Then a sound came from the academy – and he sprinted down the street, whooping in amusement.

Much to Hidan's disbelief, Ushiro-sensei did in fact chase him round the village, her shouts enlisting the help of some idle jounin in tracking him down. Some other shinobi must have been roped into minding the class while she pursued the truant, as she refused to give up the chase, no matter how many times Hidan attempted to shake her off. She was determined to punish him for his insolence, more prevalent today than ever, as Hidan had also managed to take the window frame off during his acrobatics.

As he dashed down the main street, he distinctly caught the sound of seven shinobi tailing him. All this for an academy student? He instinctively dived into the nearest shop. He ran straight through, jumping over heads and ignoring the complaints from the Ahou Tea manager, and headed for the back door. He skidded as he ran out to the side street; a jounin was already waiting for him, hands on his hips.

"Hidan-kun, this is getting ridicul-"

But before he could continue, Hidan grabbed the nearest object (which happened to be a broom) and charged. The jounin blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected the boy to be that foolish. He sighed and held out a hand to take the fast approaching broom handle – when Hidan suddenly thrust it into the ground and pole vaulted over the far wall.

"Bite me."

The jounin gaped as the boy sailed over his head, pulling a face as he disappeared over the concrete.

"You brat!"

Fuming, the jounin's embarrassment was added to by his fellow pursuers as they regrouped, and flew over the wall after the rather smug 'brat'.

The jounin spread out through the alleys, pairing off and blocking the ends of Hidan's escape route. Hidan continued running down the shady alley, but it didn't take long for him to tell they were closing in. Two appeared barely ten feet away, and he skidded to a halt, grimacing. Two more pairs of footsteps echoed off the walls behind him, and he sighed in mock defeat.

"Jeez, you guys are good at this. Better an Ushiro, though that's not saying much."

Pensive face breaking into a grin, his broom knocked off a nearby manhole cover, causing the jounin on his right to leap to the side as it rolled past. Hidan jumped in without a moment's hesitation. Throwing the broom a little ways down from his end of the sewer, he grabbed the first bar of the ladder and swung himself up onto the ceiling, clinging to the pipes. He heard footsteps and splashes, and hoisted himself on top of the pipes, and proceeded to run in the opposite direction. A few seconds later, the splashes were back, and he quickly shoved another metal lid off and jumped out, shoes squelching wetly. He heard the jounin again, and saw a hand reach out of the hole. Kicking the manhole cover back on (and most certainly fracturing said hand) he smirked at the yelp of pain he had caused and sprinted down the alley, doubling back on his earlier route.

Knowing that he was walking on even thinner ice now, and though he loved every second of it, Hidan didn't want to spend his whole day off avoiding capture. He took every corner that caught his eye and was soon heading towards the edge of the village, as far away from the academy as he could go within the confines of Yuugakure. The houses and shops were less dense here, and Hidan, confident that his erratic path had lost them for a while, slowed to a casual stroll. Out here, the steam after which the village was named snaked its way into the village from the local hot springs, making the air heavy and slightly opaque, and though it was only early spring, the temperature was a good five degrees warmer out here.

Hidan gave a start. He'd walked right by the village's extravagant bathhouse, and into the wilder area north of the village, when his stomach growled. He backtracked a little, stopping by the entrance in contemplation. He had to admit it hadn't been a good idea to leave all his stuff, money and food included, in the classroom. He wasn't going to risk sneaking into the bathhouse though, the owner, Ichiro, was hundreds of times more terrifying than those stick-up-their-ass jounin. Not to mention that he was a close relative, who often bewailed the loss of corporal punishment in the academies, and took Hidan's high resistance to pain and defiant tendencies as a personal challenge.

Hidan backed away from the bathhouse with a shiver.

Just then, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He whirled around, expecting to be ambushed by Ushiro and her cronies. Only one figure was visible through the warm fog. Hidan pulled a face. It was that weird Konoha shinobi, leaning casually against the bathhouse wall, some distance away, but still staring through the mist.

"You again."

The stranger gave a low laugh.

"Again? I don't believe we've met before. Unless you're referring to-"

"Gawking at the academy class for three days straight, yeah."

That low laugh again. That wasn't the reaction Hidan was expecting, and his eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you supposed to be talking with the village leader or something instead of following kids around?"

"I'm merely accessing the village strength, while my companions deal with the formalities."

"Piss off."

With that, Hidan started walking. He kept his eyes forward as he passed the foreigner, determined not to look at him, in case he saw how much his retort had amused rather than enraged the Konoha nin. The man didn't move a muscle.

"I saw your little stunt this morning. Very entertaining."

Hidan still felt wary, and didn't slow down, but after recalling the look on his sensei's face, he couldn't help letting the corners of his mouth twitch.

"They had it coming. Can't even handle a dumb kid."

"So I saw. You must be quite talented to so easily overcome the village jounin."

Hidan stopped and laughed.

"In case it hasn't got through to your retarded skull, this place is in the backend of nowhere. There _is_ no talent here."

The man laughed with him.

"A village this small, I suppose I should have realised that myself…"

Hidan relaxed a little. This guy was finally seeing sense.

"Seriously, the only reason I stick around is for the missions, and I can't even do them yet. It's boring as hell."

The man looked sympathetic.

"It is a pity those who even show slight promise are bound to _this_ sleepy little village."

Hidan didn't reply. He wasn't sure he liked where this conversation was heading anymore. He started strolling away, only to hear the stranger's voice again.

"…I thought I had found someone interesting."

Hidan stopped at the corner, and looked over his shoulder.

"Well all I found today was some freaky old guy. You like my work, feel free to come to my graduation. I'll wreck the place pretty good, just for you. See ya, snaky."

He turned away, reasonably convinced the conversation was over, and considered breaking back into the school now that the day had finished, just for kicks. Yellow eyes followed him closely as he sprinted away, and he was blissfully ignorant of the stranger thinking intently.

…

"Ok, last test, transformation. Turn into your sensei."

"Transformation no jutsu."

A vein pulsed in Ushiro sensei's temple. The other two examiners looked incredulous, the younger one turning away to hide his laughter.

"Hidan-san, when I said turn into your sensei, I expected an accurate copy, not your own interpretation."

"You don't think it's accurate? Then you need a mirror, lady, seriously."

"…Fail!"

Luckily, Hidan's other examiners were quite generous with their marks.

…

"…And although a few of the theory exam papers were remarkably…similar to others, but because we can't really figure out who copied who, you all pass regardless."

There was a general murmur of curiosity among the graduates. From his line, a few students turned and glared suspiciously at Hidan. He avoided the eyes, grinning. The principal cleared his throat, and the noise died down.

"That aside, from this day on, you are full-fledged shinobi, and will carry out missions for your village. We're counting on you, the younger generation, to keep up our reputation of excellence."

A few students scoffed. They were duly ignored.

"Now, if you could all come up one by one for your hitai-ate…"

The students lined up quickly, with some shoving. The headbands were passed out, accompanied by the token "congratulations", though the tone it was spoken in differed for each graduate.

As he sauntered down the steps from the stage, Hidan quickly tied the headband around his neck, having made up his mind where to put it months ago. The forehead didn't agree with him, and few others Hidan knew well were of the same mind as him, and had decided to disregard the 'forehead' part of 'forehead protector'.

Hidan didn't bother looking for his parents in the crowd, they were forever away on missions, the village being as short staffed as it was, and with the war on, they returned home even less. Hidan soon grew tired of standing around doing nothing, and in desperation for some form of entertainment, threw his eyes around the field in front of the academy. He did a double take on the far corner. A crate of fireworks lay foolishly unguarded a little ways from the crowd. His face broke into a wide grin and he ran to it, hurriedly taking some of the larger ones out. He tucked them under and arm and took one of the many paths out of the village square. A few seconds later, he reached the village gate, and here, he laid out his collection, supporting them on stones and bits of wood. He looked back at the academy, gauging the distance, a grin playing around his lips. Everyone here seemed so ignorant of the shinobi wars, it was time they realised what most of them would be sent out to in a few years.

One of the senseis smoked, there was sure to be matches lying around somewhere. Trying to look inconspicuous, he strolled back into the main building, making a beeline for the staff room. As all the senseis were outside, he barged in carelessly, and immediately ran into the groundskeeper, who just happened to be holding a matchbox.

"What the-?"

"Uh…Can I borrow them for a second?"

The older man looked at the matchbox, then threw him an ugly look.

"What? No! Get back outside!"

Hidan made a swipe at them, but the groundskeeper, showing shinobi like reflexes, held them behind his back. Hidan groaned.

"Don't tell me you're a ninja too! Jeez, that just complicates things so much…"

Hidan looked dejectedly to the side.

"I guess I'll just have to use that lighter instead."

The groundskeeper followed his gaze.

"What lighter?"

Hidan darted behind him and wrenched the matches from his hand. The older man spun around in shock. Hidan leaped onto the window ledge, laughing.

"I can't believe you fell for that! No wonder you got landed with groundskeeping."

The groundskeeper leered at him.

"You think you're so smart, little genin. But I didn't become a chuunin at ten for nothing!"

Hidan's grin faded when the man started furiously making handsigns.

"Aw shit."

"Katon! Fire style! Kakyuu no jutsu!"

Hidan blanched as quite a large amount of fire came his way. He ducked and dived through the window, landing safely on the grass outside. He breathed a sigh of relief, but as soon as he inhaled, he caught the smell of something burning. He glanced at the now combusting matchbox, and held it gingerly as the flames began to spread. His face lit up.

"Hey, old man, thanks for the light."

Without staying to hear the reply, he quickly ran to the gate, laughing maniacally as he spread the flame from the burning box along each of the brightly coloured rockets.

Pandemonium ensued. No one was truly prepared for what happened. Once the fireworks started invading the square, the crowds panicked. It got worse when, by utter chance, one rocket landed among the ones in the crate. There were a few casualties, but nothing an on scene medic couldn't handle. Quite a few sentries lost their jobs. The finger was pointed directly at Hidan, who had wisely scarpered before the senseis could recover from the shock.

He hadn't gone far though; he took too much pride in his causing all the panic to risk missing it. He viewed it all, highly entertained, from the safety of a nearby, very leafy tree. It pleased him to see so many of his classmates at a loss of what to do about the fireworks; some shinobi they were.

Some fireworks were still exploding loudly, filling the air with sparks and smoke, though once the crate had been disposed of the air of alarm around the place had quickly evaporated, and normality was slowly returning. He could see his search party already heading out, in completely the wrong direction, he noted with glee. The fireworks stopped as quickly as they had started, and the graduates were beginning to head home. Hidan sighed a little as the clean up commenced.

"Damn, they're getting better at handling this kind of stuff. It's not half as fun anymore."

"Spoiling your masterpiece, are they?"

Hidan almost fell off his branch. He scrambled back into a sitting position, throwing his visitor a look of utter indignation.

"Wha-? How did you-? When did you-? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?! Seriously, what the-?"

The dark-haired stranger's face broke into a smile at Hidan's dramatic reaction. Recognition dawned, and Hidan let his mouth hang open, aghast.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

He couldn't believe it. That freaky snake guy was back. He blinked a couple of times, but the Konoha nin remained, lazing against the trunk of the tree, only a few feet away. Hidan's less than polite welcome did nothing to discourage the stranger.

"After all the fun I had last time, I couldn't miss out on your graduation. And I wasn't disappointed. Even that incident with the groundskeeper…"

He turned to the emptying field in front of the academy, chuckling to himself. Hidan frowned.

"Don't miss much do you? Are you autopresent or something?"

"You mean omnipresent."

"Whatever."

There was a pause, and the distant chatter of the dispersing crowd drifted past them, travelling on the warm breeze.

"Hey- you didn't answer my question."

The Konoha nin raised an eyebrow; yellow eyes turning to meet the boy's wild purple ones.

"Hn. No, I'm just observant. I'm only human, unfortunately."

Hidan pulled a face.

"You're weird."

"I suppose I am."

"You're not supposed to admit it."

The man seemed to find this hilarious.

Hidan didn't retort, but started fidgeting with his new headband, making the dimming light glint off the polished metal. It caught the stranger's attention.

"Around the neck…"

His voice was low, and ponderous. Hidan glanced at him, scowling.

"What about it?"

"Is there something wrong with having your headband around your head?"

"What, you want me to look like you? Dream on."

"That's not what I implied."

"Sure it wasn't."

"You're a master in the art of sarcasm too, I see."

Hidan grinned.

"Now you're just using my own weapon against me. Hey, speaking of weapons…"

Hidan took a good look at the stranger, searching for something sharp and dangerous in his attire. The object of his fruitless search raised an eyebrow.

"A shinobi shouldn't have to rely on weapons. Jutsu are much more effective."

Hidan was unconvinced.

"Feh. Jutsu are annoying. It's so much easier just to take a swing at someone-"

The older man chuckled. Hidan continued regardless.

"-I mean, whenever my new sensei gets their rear in gear and we start going off on missions and stuff, it'll just be against wimps who'd keel over if I so much as poked them with a stick, seriously. I don't need any fancy techniques."

Hidan punctuated his statement by sticking out his tongue at his fellow tree-dweller. The stranger didn't stop smiling, evidently amused.

"Missions, missions. You're obviously looking forward to serving your village."

Hidan frowned. That came out of nowhere, he thought. He shifted and cast his eyes down.

"I don't care about the village, and I never really thought about all that servitude crap… It's just, nothing ever happens here. I want to actually _do_ something."

"Then why are you here?"

Hidan looked at his companion, surprised by the question. He leaned back onto his branch. The sky was slowly turning red, the field below deserted. He stared at it absently. The snake guy's words had made him wonder. What did tie him to the village? Not any family ties, obviously. No one was ever here.

"I suppose I stick around because… I've nowhere else to go. It's not like I want to be here, but even if I ran off, all these hidden villages are the same. They all think shinobi are here to protect the normal people, like some bodyguard. We learn infiltration techniques and offensive stuff at the academy, but the ninja here never use them. It's all 'preserve the peace' and don't let the war near the village and all that crap. I mean, the only reason we're even fighting in the war is because we allied with people like you."

He threw at glance at the stranger.

"They've got this whole righteousness thing about being a shinobi. How you can help the community and protect the people you love. Pretty it up, so more kids'll join the academy. Feh. Shinobi aren't like that. You call ninja when you've got enemies that need getting rid of. Shinobi fight. And they kill. That's why I'd rather be out risking my neck than hanging around here."

He paused, and smirked.

"Nah, scratch that. Like I'd risk anything for this dump. I just want to get away. Go somewhere where shinobi act like shinobi, and don't try and justify it."

Hidan stopped, and let his eyes widen. Where had all that come from? He'd never actually voiced his motives for being a shinobi in such detail to a complete stranger before. This guy had a lot to answer for. Automatically, he glared at him. The Leaf nin was unfazed.

"That's an intriguing nindou. And it might interest you to know that there are-"

Hidan sat up, suddenly hanging off every word.

"There are what? Tell me already!"

The stranger looked as if he was about to continue, but then his face grew suddenly serious. He stirred from his branch, standing to look out past the academy. Hidan looked up curiously.

"I think I've been absent from the talks long enough. My fellows will start to get annoyed soon," he stated ruefully, and even Hidan could hear the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. Hidan scowled. He'd wanted to hear what crazy thing the Konoha nin was going to come out with.

"They're still going on? Jeez. What the hell is there to talk about?"

The man jumped lightly down from the tree, and after a second, turned back to Hidan.

"Frivolities. Nothing you need to worry about. Enjoy your new life as a shinobi, Hidan."

He faced forwards again, and walked across the battered field. Hidan stared after him, then realised what he had said.

"Hey!" he called, standing up on his branch, "How'd you know my name?"

The stranger laughed again.

"They called it out at the ceremony."

Hidan huffed. He inhaled deeply, and yelled out from his tree.

"That's not fair! Tell me yours! Come on, or I'll keep calling you snaky."

The shinobi waved, but didn't look back.

"Figure it out for next time."

"Asshole!"

No reaction.

"Bishi!"

Hidan could have sworn he'd seen a twitch after that one.

…

This will be a two-part story or 'two-shot'. Part 2 will be posted later on this month, hopefully. Questions, comments, and crit are all welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Reviews will be used to buy weapons for deprived baby Hidans. :D Yes, I'm selling myself. This chappie gets a lot darker than the last one... Feel free to crit, and enjoy!

Ch.2

A couple of years passed, and Hidan, his previous tongue-in-cheek attitude now aided by the arrogance brought on by the teenage years, thrived on his new lifestyle, and almost forgot about his encounters with the Konoha emissary. Almost forgot, but never quite altogether. Occasionally, something would trigger a phrase, or cause something of the foreigner's appearance to float to the surface of his memories, though it was always dismissed without hesitation. Hidan didn't bother to dwell on such trivial things when there were infinitely more violent, and therefore much more inviting, things to comprehend. Such as the current situation he found himself in.

Accidentally on purpose, he had been separated from his teammates, and had just happened to run into the very group of bandits that they were supposed to be tracking in the mountain range high above the village.

There were five of them, dressed in ragged armour and mucky boots, surrounding him and blocking off all escape. They leered, all wearing the exact same expression, edging closer all the time, ready to club him into the ground and steal whatever money he had. Which, coincidentally, he'd carelessly dropped on the way out of the village.

Hidan stood calmly in the centre of a shrinking ring of bodies, blatantly twirling a kunai around his finger impatiently.

"Can't you guys shuffle any faster? This is going to be disappointing, I can tell. Why couldn't they have sent us on a real mission, not this patrol shit..."

He sighed in exasperation. The bandit behind him suddenly broke the rhythmic approach of the others, and lunged at Hidan's unguarded back. Hidan flicked the kunai off his finger, sending it deep into the offending bandit's gut. The man stumbled. Hidan side-stepped to let him fall. A few seconds of tense silence followed, then all hell broke loose. The remaining four thieves swooped in together, enraged by the death or their comrade, but also pissed off at their apparent lack of intimidation. Hidan leaped in the air as clubs and blades alike were thrust roughly into the space he'd occupied a second before. Laughing, he danced around the clearing just beyond their reach, not drawing a weapon of his own. He blocked and dodged, intent only on seeing how long he could go with getting a scratch. He tripped a couple of them, getting them as riled up as possible. It worked, and soon, he was having much closer shaves than before. But, soon they must have realised that swinging some sharp thing around wildly wasn't getting them anywhere, and while Hidan dangled from a tree branch, taunting the two who couldn't jump quite high enough to chop his head off, the other two started planning.

Hidan waited for the red-faced bandits under his tree to tire before letting go, dropping haphazardly on their shoulders, springing lightly off as hands grabbed at him, and landing in the centre of the clearing again. He grinned at the puffing and panting coming from his opponents, but soon his triumphant laugh was interrupted by the sound of metal through the air.

Instinctively he moved, and flashes of silver flew past, burying themselves in the nearest tree. Hidan frowned. Shuriken? Where'd they get-

He swallowed a cry as one found its mark and he frowned as his upper arm started bleeding profusely. Cursing, he dodged the next volley, and yanked out the star. He winced.

"Fuck, that stings."

The bandits look happier now, grinning toothily as blood continued to drip unattended from Hidan's arm. The two responsible for the attack stuffed their hands into the small, vaguely familiar leather pouch looking for more pointy things to hurl.

Hidan glanced at them, reaching for his own stash. After a couple of seconds of patting his pant pockets, he suddenly knew whose shuriken the bandits were using.

He probably shouldn't have jumped around so much.

He coloured a little, and all four bandits started laughing hyena-style. He stepped back onto something hard and to the thieves' great surprise, Hidan started laughing too. The nearest of the four trailed off, looking apprehensive, and his partner grabbed at his empty scabbard. Hidan then produced one of their swords from behind his back, grinning. The shuriken holders were unimpressed, and merely grabbed another fistful. But then a kunai appeared in Hidan's other hand, a little bit of the first bandit's blood staining the blade.

"Who knew? You're not the mindless bastards I thought you were. That last one hurt, seriously."

He brought the kunai to his mouth and held it in his teeth. Without warning, he launched himself at the two nearest bandits. They reacted slowly – and one fell, a deep gash in his throat, blood spurting out at a furious rate. Hidan smirked through the kunai. The next one he disarmed and caught the sword in his free hand, first sword passing through the unfortunate man's ribcage.

Grinning widely, he faced the last pair, twirling his swords until they were pointed directly at his targets. The men's eyes were wide, and they froze, not knowing how to deal with this demon. Hidan saw fear in their eyes, and it only served to increased his desire to put them out of there misery.

"That's enough, Hidan!"

Hidan froze, and let out a loud "tch," as his sensei entered the clearing. The last two bandits took his pause as an opportunity to run, but were soon stopped by kunai, which skilfully pinned both to a nearby log. Hidan threw his sensei a look, and angrily exclaimed,

"Tama-sensei! Why did you stop me? Aren't we supposed to be taking care of 'the little problems' on patrol?"

His sensei, a youngish, dark-haired and serious man returned Hidan's look with a fatigued frown of his own. Tama-sensei had had many genin through the years, but this team tried his temper more strongly and more frequently than any other. Obviously, Renata's maturity cleared her from blame, and Teuchi had been at the hospital for most of the two years of their acquaintance, but Tama just could not get his head around Hidan. He had known both of his parents, and though they too were a little on the workaholic side, he'd never seen anything past their guarded nature to explain Hidan's hard-line ideals.

"These are highwaymen, not wild animals. You know our policy; if they attack, defend yourself, but always take one for questioning."

Hidan huffed.

"Yeah, like these guys had some plan for overthrowing our system. This is a minor problem. Use them for target practice and voila, cure and prevention rolled into one."

Tama sighed in exasperation.

"You have to stop taking things at face value, Hidan! A shinobi sees beyond deception at all times, not only when it's completely obvious!"

He shook his head, and jumped lightly over to the two trapped bandits. He deftly tied them up and freed them from the log.

"Come on," he said gruffly, "Our shift is almost over. But don't think I'm done lecturing you yet. I haven't even begun to stress how dangerous it is to keep going off on your own."

Hidan waved his words aside.

"I can handle it, seriously. Don't you trust my abilities? I'm a shinobi, aren't I?"

"You wouldn't know it from that arm," called a voice from the treetops. Hidan snapped at it.

"Shut up, Renata. You did fuck all for this mission."

Renata dropped from the nearest tree; twigs and leaves scattered through her light blue hair. She began picking them out, all the while glaring at Hidan. He glared back, but with less intensity,

"Well, are you going to stand there all day or are you going to heal me?"

"I shouldn't. Then maybe you wouldn't do it again."

Hidan flashed her a grin, which she did not return.

"But you know you will. You're just too soft, Rena-chan."

She rolled her eyes, but was soon by Hidan's side, silently pouring her chakra onto his wound. Tama started walking, throwing the two trussed up bandits over his shoulder.

"I'll see you two at the mission hall."

"Got it."

When she was done, Hidan let Renata leap on ahead, so as to go at his own leisurely pace back to the village. He wasn't in any particular hurry, and he was half hoping something else would happen on his way home.

Nothing did, and he reached the mission hall in the academy without incident, twenty minutes later. Renata ignored him when he came to stand beside her, and remained silent as Tama-sensei conversed with the village leader in low tones. The leader occasionally threw Hidan a look of tired annoyance, which Hidan duly endured. Soon, they were paid and dismissed, but as Hidan was heading out the door after Renata, a shinobi messenger arrived through the open window, battered and travel worn, and bowed before the leader. Hidan stopped and looked over his shoulder, one hand on the doorframe. Unnoticed by the elders and his sensei, he listened to the messenger's words.

Their forces in Rice Country had been wiped out by a Suna ambush. The small group of survivors was forced to surrender. The messenger himself had been sent back to give details of the conditions of surrender to the village, to be put in place immediately.

Hidan didn't take any of the conditions in. He continued to stare, until Tama-sensei turned and spotted him. The sensei's eyes widened in something that resembled shock, and he quickly asked the messenger the question that hovered on Hidan's lips.

"What about Yuuzai and Kin?"

Suddenly, all the other occupants of the room were aware of Hidan's presence. Several pairs of searching eyes were on him the moment those names were said, and he stared evenly back, simply waiting for an answer.

It came, and Tama-sensei's eyes softened into sadness. The elders looked away, and one muttered "It's a shame, they were very skilled."

They all avoided Hidan's face, unsure of his reaction, not wanting to involve themselves with the troublesome young ninja. All except for the village leader. His eyes never left the boy in front of him.

"Hidan?"

Hidan looked at him, eyes hard.

"What? Am I supposed to cry? Pretend I didn't know this was going to happen? Hah. That's what they get for defending this waste of fucking space. At least they didn't die here."

He turned on his heel and stormed out, ignoring the calls of his sensei.

He ran out into the dark street, and ran a hand through his hair. Did they expect him to feel sad? Scream something like, 'it's not true, they'll come back tomorrow' like some whiny little kid? He was a shinobi; death was part and parcel of the ninja way. He seriously didn't get how people shied away from it. This village needed more exposure to death. That was the only way it would ever become strong. Weak, scared, life-clingers, that was what they called shinobi in this place. He kicked violently at a stone, and sent in hurtling through someone's window. The sound of destruction seemed to calm him a little, and he continued his walk down the road to his home.

…

Hidan woke late, sunshine pouring through the crack in his curtains right on to his face. He rolled over and out on to the floor, grunting as he bumped his still tender arm off the bedside. He stood up and stretched, and caught the sound of a crowd and the clash of metal on metal outside. All signs of fatigue vanished, and he threw on his ninja gear. Leaning out the window, a strange sight met his curious eyes.

Ninja were walking down the street, their gear and weapons in bundles in their arms. Hidan looked up and down the street, they were coming from all over the village, heading for the main square.

"What the hell's going on?"

A jounin supervising the exodus answered him.

"Get your weapons and follow everyone to the square. The elders will explain."

Hidan scowled and drew away from the window. He stocked up on kunai, not bothering to bring all his weaponry. If it turned out to be some sort of battle or competition, he'd improvise. It didn't seem like it though. He took one more look around his room before leaping out the window and falling into step behind the shinobi. Something didn't sit right with this. Everywhere he looked, he saw shinobi joining the crowd, some looking pissed off, like he was, some, like the majority of the normal villagers, looked strangely relieved. He soon found out why. As they turned the corner and entered the village square, he distinctly heard the leader's voice over the muttering of the crowd gathered there.

"-To give up our shinobi village status. We are to become a regular town, and have neutrality, and in return, we will not be harmed, nor involved in any other shinobi war. Our resources are already running low, and I know most of you have lost a loved one to the great wars, past and present. It was for the benefit of the village that I agreed. Now please, all shinobi, deposit your weapons here. Only the guard will possess arms from now on."

There were some shouts of outrage from the crowd at this, and the leader, shaking his head, raised his hands for silence.

"I know it will be hard to adjust, especially for those of you who come from traditional shinobi families-"

There were some murmurs of dissent.

"-But we have no choice. Sunagakure are not going to be any more generous than they already have been."

The angry muttering died down, and an elderly woman spoke up.

"Hear hear! No more of this senseless violence! A village this small was never cut out for warfare."

"That's right!" one of her companions chimed in, "We don't want any more of our people dying out there."

Her cry encouraged similar ones, villagers asking for the former shinobi to consent to the change, and embrace the idea of peace.

Gradually, the mood lightened, and the weapon pile grew higher and higher as shinobi willing cast kunai, shuriken, katana, scrolls, hitai-ate, everything, away. Some shinobi were casting off their gear with genuine joy, and those that had been called back the night before rushed to their families, relief spread across their faces. Someone had brought fireworks, and started to set them off with glee. A few screams accompanied them, and they were soon stopped. The villagers still hadn't quite got over the incident a few years before. When the celebrations started, no one seemed to notice one figure that still wore a sour expression.

Hidan walked out of the square in disgust.

He was the only shinobi left in the village. His kunai pouch still hung from his pants; his scrolls (which he rarely used anyway) still tucked into the pockets of his jacket, a shuriken holster still strapped to his leg, his eyes still cold and ruthless.

The village had now completely lost any appeal to him. Let them go off in their happy, peaceful fragile world, and block out the chaos of the real one. They would have to face reality some time. They couldn't run from death. Did they seriously believe the other nations would just leave them alone? Maybe they would. Maybe they'll all live happily every after and all that; like that leader wanted to believe. Maybe they would, but Hidan wasn't going to.

A sudden movement caught his eye, and in a second, he held a kunai in his fist. The smallest sound entered his ear, and the kunai flew, burying itself in the nearest wall, by an alley.

"Well… You've certainly grown in skill."

A figure stepped out of the alley, a familiar smile on a familiar snake like face. Hidan mouthed opened in surprise.

"You?! Again? What the hell-?"

The Konoha nin. Here. Now. Hidan hadn't seen him in two, three years, and now suddenly, a surprise reunion.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?"

The snake nin laughed. Of course. He always laughs.

"Nice to see you too, Hidan-kun."

Hidan twitched.

"You couldn't have picked a worse time, bishi."

Now it was the Konoha shinobi's turn to twitch.

"So, you never did find out my name for yourself then."

"Nope."

Hidan, having recovered from the shock, started walking again, and brushed past the weird ninja. The sound of festivities from the square filled the silence. Hidan started to walk faster, anger rising.

"Where are you going?"

"To vent."

That low laugh. Hidan didn't stop walking.

"I had a feeling Yuugakure's demotion would not sit well with you."

Hidan looked over his shoulder, slowing down.

"You knew it was going to happen?"

The stranger was unreadable.

"It was always going to happen, Hidan. You knew it too. The only question was when."

Hidan laughed and came to complete stop, hands behind his head.

"Isn't that the truth."

A few more moments of silence. Then-

"So, what are you going to do now that it's happened?"

The shinobi's tone was one of mild interest, as if he were inquiring about the weather. But when amethyst eyes met golden ones, Hidan could almost feel the shinobi's burning curiosity. He really was a source of entertainment for this guy. The corners of his mouth curled up in a cruel smirk.

"Stick around. I'll give you a real show."

…

It was midnight. Hidan always had been a sucker for dramatics. He sat on the roof of a nearby ramen shop, in full shinobi attire, surveying the silent village. There were a few stragglers about, coming home from the sakê bars and such, but he ignored them. He stretched, cracked his knuckles and stood up. With no other shinobi left, Yuugakure was his oyster, and he was going to have some fun with it before he left. His feet left the clay tiles, and he flew silently across the roofs.

The steam from the hot springs was rising and invading the streets, dulling the moonlight and muffling all sounds. It followed the shadow passing over the houses, like some sort of army at his back. There was a low crash from the square, and the weapons hall was breached. The faint light caught the keen edges of countless blades as the door was half opened.

As the light glinted off them, it looked to Hidan as if the weapons winked at him invitingly. His smirk broadened at the thought. He opened the ruined door fully, and the weak light washed in.

Soon, the steam had covered the village in a blanket of moisture. Hidan turned to the door, having acquired all he'd need, when the last ray of moonlight shone briefly on an object in the far corner. Intrigued, he changed direction, leaping over what remained of the armoury. He caught hold of its rough wooden handle and lifting it, swung it over his head and brought it down hard on the concrete. Its long, rough blade sang as it travelled through the air, and the rending of the ground was the sweetest music to its holder. He pulled it out by the side handle. It was nothing but a farmer's tool, though with the trained eyes of a shinobi, Hidan could see some potential that might have been the cause of concern among the elders. Why else would such an unorthodox object have been grouped with shinobi tools?

And at that moment, Hidan had an idea.

They wanted shinobi to change and enter into different jobs, didn't they? They should learn that changing jobs didn't necessarily mean changing habits too. With quick and excited movements, Hidan swung it over his back, securing it to some katana.

Passing the damaged door, he stepped into the night air, and inhaled. Spreading his arms wide, he looked up to the obscured sky, moisture settling on his skin.

"Nice night. Shame I'm going to spoil it."

He sniggered.

"Ah, who am I kidding?"

The scythe was in his hands again. It felt heavy, but good, like it belonged there. Looking up, his violet eyes reflected a pair of late night patrollers. He darted forward, scythe rising. It glided through the air, and right through the two guards. Screams tore the air, and Hidan sighed in bliss. Blood coated the rusty blade of the scythe and pelted the ground underneath him. He heard shouts, and fluidly released a barrage of kunai; the accompanying cries exciting him all the more.

He ran to them, drawn by some unearthly attraction. There was fear in their eyes, those wide, familiar eyes. They were calling his name. He didn't stop. He cut them off mid-sentence, his new weapon slashing his former teammates to shreds. Their blood was warm; dispelling the cold of the night as it ran down his skin. It mixed with his own; he didn't even realised he'd been scratched. That was all it was though, and he soon spun around and hacked off the limbs of the one who caused it.

More were coming. He looked at them, eyes gleaming through the fog. Former shinobi. Comrades. He knew them all by name. Lambs to the slaughter. His mouth twitched upwards in an inviting grin. Some even had weapons. He moved by instinct, led by bloodlust, and forced his way through the crowd, a reaper among ripe crops, caught in a red rain. The sounds of agony, the clang of metal on metal, his own ecstatic laughter. Lights, bodies, movement, steam ghosts. Sulphur, iron, and fire. Feet pounding as his playmates tried to run, tears mixing with blood and sweat. The drumming of hearts, his own beating loudly with excitement. Hidan drank it all in.

Then there were none left on the streets. Hidan felt cheated, as if he'd reached the end of some addictive new game. Weapons and bodies lay piled up in pools of dark red, the steam diluting the macabre scene. He turned, his grin fading. He saw the town hall.

More importantly, he saw the man standing in front of it. His lopsided grin returned.

"Leader-sama! Come to see what real neutrality is? How can a village ever be neutral when there's so many rowdy-ass ninja just dying to get back into the war scene? See, I've solved your problem. No more shinobi. Now you can be as peaceful as you want. At least, until some other nation crushes you. Retard!"

Hidan stood, stained from head to toe in blood, laughing at the look of utter abhorrence on his leader's face. He took a step closer.

"Come on, what's that look for? It's not like the shinobi here were real shinobi. Tama-sensei, you know what he did? Wouldn't even stop me. He knew my fighting style inside out, and he just stood there and watched as I fucking disembowelled him. I mean, what kind of ninja lets himself get killed?"

At this, the leader's face softened almost to disappointment. Hidan took another step towards him, and the man unconsciously leaned back a little.

"Hidan… Is that what all of your horrific deeds are about? Being a model shinobi, the epitome of ruthless efficiency?"

He sighed, his eyes brimming over with tears as Hidan kicked the body of a young academy student out of the way.

"How could you have been so misled? Being a shinobi is not about how many people you can kill in one night. Shinobi protect the weak. That's what we did here."

Hidan, unaffected, drew nearer.

"Where did you go so wrong?"

"Oh, I never went wrong, Sir. It's stupid, naïve people like you who got it all wrong. Shinobi kill. All I did was kill this useless village before someone else did. I'm doing the shinobi world a favour by getting rid of the hopeless cases."

Hidan looked thoughtful for a moment.

"In fact, I never thought you'd last long either."

The leader's expression darkened.

"Despite how I may seem, I am a superior shinobi of this village, though I no longer take any pride in it. It will pain me to do this Hidan, but you must be punished."

He fell back into an unfamiliar stance, eyes hard. His hands formed signs, and his eyes closed. Hidan laughed and began charging, bloodlust still circumventing his system.

"Playing with a handicap, are we, O great leader-sama? Wow, I didn't think you thought so little of me!"

He slashed at the man, but the leader dodged blindly. Hidan smirked and used the scythe to turn in mid-air and kick out. He caught the man hard in the ribs, and he stumbled. Hidan saw an opening, and struck with all the force of his blood-crazed state.

In an instant, the katana was protruding from the leader's back. He coughed, blood trickling down the corner of his mouth. Hidan fixed him with an irritated eye.

"Damn, that was disappointing."

"Reserve your judgement until I have finished, Hidan."

The voice hadn't come from the body. Hidan cursed. The man's body dissolved into steam, rising into the air.

"Substitution!"

He threw his eyes around, scouring the area. Kawarimi no jutsu was such a pathetic technique.

Suddenly the air was filled with rushing sounds, and sharp gales. Hidan gripped his scythe harder.

"Fuuton! Ookiri no jutsu!"

Startled, Hidan leaped back, katana and scythe in hand. The chakra winds were gathering around the leader's motionless figure as he stood on the steps of the academy. He could practically see the breezes wheeling around the building, cutting through the steam. Hidan, getting over his initial surprise, scowled. The leader's eyes suddenly opened, and the winds flew at Hidan. Thinking fast, he dug his katana into the ground and leaped from the top, using the extra height to escape the worst of the winds. He felt the deadly wind against his leg, and gritted his teeth in pain as bloodstains bloomed through his clothing. He landed on his hands and flipped onto his feet, inhaling sharply as his legs almost gave way. He leaned on his katana, half-wishing he'd left a medic alive.

His opponent started making signs again, whipping the winds round with increased fervour. Hidan scowled. The leader was only using jutsu. He'd already shown that physical attacking wasn't his strong point. Hidan had to take advantage of that. Forcing his legs to move, he raised the scythe again. The jutsu was coming, the winds tossing the debris into the air. Hidan broke into a run, ignoring the complaints of his legs, scythe trailing behind him. The leader unleashed the jutsu, and the winds rushed at him. At the same moment, Hidan swung the scythe around with all his strength and let it fly. It spun through the air, beyond the reach of the wind jutsu. Hidan covered his face as the winds hit him full on. He was knocked far, the wind dragging him across the ground as wounds opened on his arms and torso.

Then without warning, a terrible cry dispelled the wind, and Hidan tentatively uncovered his face. The leader had fallen down from the stone steps, his scythe buried in his chest.

The only sound for many seconds was Hidan's panting. The village was silent, any surviving villagers having fled in fear. Everywhere, signs of battle scarred the deserted streets. Gingerly, Hidan got up, blood dripping freely from his many wounds. His hitai-ate slid from his neck and hit the ground, blood running hesitatingly across the battered metal. He bent over it, took it up and held it at arm's length.

The village symbol, three wavy lines, broke through his cloudy reflection. The thought of being attached to this pitiful place repulsed him. He never belonged here. He fumbled for his katana, and vehemently dragged the blade across the symbol. He threw the katana to the side. An ugly gash now ran through the neat lines, and he smiled.

He put it back on, and looked to the sky. The steam was retreating, and far to the east, the sky had lightened to a pale pink. Out west, the moon was low in the sky. The last of the rays barely caught the soiled blade of the scythe, sticking out of the prostrate body on the steps. A proud grin spread across Hidan's face as he took in the gravity of the scythe's attack. Eagerly, he stumbled towards it, and fell against the handle. He wrenched it out, kicking the body aside, and leaned heavily on it.

Then, Hidan laughed. Quietly at first, but soon, his raucous, hoarse laughter echoed around the silent village, long after he had stopped. Because he had been unaware of an audience until this moment.

Looking up through blurred vision, dried blood cracking as he moved, he smirked at the ghostly apparition a small distance away. Blinking, he made out the outlines of several shinobi. They were dressed all in black, no mark of allegiance to any village apparent to him. The only things that drew his eye were the silver pendants each of them wore, the cruel looking weapons slung on their backs, and the blood that clung to their clothes. One of them gestured to him to come. He grinned widely and walked slowly over, scythe dragging through the blood soaked dirt.

As Hidan reached them, the one who had gestured to him looked across the ruined village. Dark eyes connected to the faraway golden ones of a lone shinobi sitting nonchalantly in an old tree. The ex-Konoha nin's lips turned upwards into a cruel smile. The reply was a curt nod. All at once, the black clad shinobi disappeared along with the boy. Orochimaru stared at the dispersing smoke, satisfied, and soon vanished into the air.

Hidan had found his new clan.

.. .. ..


End file.
